If you’re watching this, chances are that you haven’t had your first kiss yet and you’re hoping that magical moment is gonna happen sometime soon. Well, you’re not alone. Sixty percent of the guys that I asked on my channel said they’ve never been kissed before. So, what is the big secret? How do you make your first kiss happen? Let me tell you. In your mind, you’ve probably built up how you think your first kiss is gonna go. Maybe it looks something like this. You look at this person, they look away, they look at you, you look away, but then suddenly you lock eyes. You lean in forward, the two of you kiss and sparks fly everywhere. It’s a magical moment, both of you are in love, and everything is wonderful. Hate to break it to you buddy but that’s usually not how a first kiss goes. You’re nervous, and things are awkward and weird. It’s your first time doing this so why would you just somehow be an expert? I think when we fall into this fantasy of the perfect first kiss we end up setting ourselves up for failure. We forget that a kiss is only part of the journey of getting to know someone. If you’re hyper-focused on everything at this moment just going right then all you’re going to do is build up more anxiety on your shoulders. You’re gonna hold out and wait for the right time to actually go for the kiss with that person thereby missing your opportunity again and again because it’s not ideal. I say this from experience. There were countless times when I was younger when I’d be with a girl that I liked and I knew she liked me back but I hesitated. I didn’t act on the moment to kiss her because it wasn’t the right environment or I didn’t really build up to it or I didn’t know what to say to lead into that kiss. Every possible reason to hold myself back I threw it out there and I missed those chances. Your first kiss might not be the best and that’s okay. Instead, worry about your second kiss and your third and your fourth and your fifth and everything else you build with that person going forward because as you gain more experience and build your comfort level with that person you’re gonna remove some of that anxiety and not worry so much about everything having to be totally the way you want it to. But let’s say you’re in a scenario where there is no one on the horizon. There are no potential prospects for you to even kiss. Your love life is just a tumbleweed rolling on by. There could be a lot of different contributing factors that make it hard for you. Maybe it’s partly your looks or your social skills or your level of confidence. Each of these are things you can individually work on but the one piece that I always recommend to people to truly focus on is to continue to put themselves out there to meet more people. Part of getting to that first kiss is playing the numbers game. The more people that you can meet and interact with, flirt with, and really start to see if there’s someone you can form a deep connection with, the easier it’s going to be for you to actually meet someone that can lead to that first kiss. But if you’re being super-super selective you’re only pursuing individual people that you have this instant attraction to you’re really going to make it harder for yourself to get to that point. Are you actively going to social events and activities? Are you meeting people that are friends of friends? Are you trying online dating? There are lots of different ways to bring more people into your circle but if you’re just going to kind of hold off and wait for that perfect person to come by, it’s not going to happen. To simplify it and put it bluntly, if you want to get some action you need to take some action. You need to step outside of your boundaries, you need to push yourself to be more social, you need to get out there to actually find that person, and as you embark on this journey to get your first kiss. You are constantly going to be bombarded by other people doing it all the time and succeeding with ease which might make you a little bit jealous. Those feelings of jealousy are something else. You might fall susceptible to constantly comparing your journey to other people wondering why is it so easy for everyone else to find love but me. Why can’t I just have my first kiss? Why am I so behind every single person that I know? I get your frustration. It is not easy and yet everyone wants to make it seem like it is. Like you just walk out the door, meet someone, have your first kiss, and move along. It’s not that simple. In those moments of anger and jealousy and frustration at that person, not even at that person but just the fact that it’s so easy for them and not you it can help sometimes to talk about your feelings with people that you can trust. There’s no magic “just get over it” pill. What you’re feeling is valid and real but I want you to also know that feelings that are mentionable are manageable. Talking to someone you can trust about how you feel is going to allow you to vent. It’s going to allow you to share. It’s gonna allow you to let go of that frustration so you’re not walking around not constantly carrying it. Or maybe that’s talking with a close friend or in the comments down below or in our Discord community where you can meet other people that have similar stories to your own. Sharing is a fundamental part of the healing process. As you work towards this journey of getting your first kiss, talking to other people about what you’re feeling and hearing their stories is going to make you realize you’re not alone on this journey. On that note, I’ll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.