Over the years, I’ve gotten with my fair share of girls, and there are a few different techniques that I’ve used consistently to grab their attention and to win them over. So, I’m going to share them with you. Use them as you will.
A tiny little disclaimer here: don’t just do exactly what I’m going to share with you because if you do, it’s not going to feel authentic. They’re going to see right through it. They’re going to feel like you’re reading off of a script, and you’re not going to feel like you’re really in the zone being yourself.
Tip #1: Create instant tension the moment you meet her
One of the most important things that I used to do whenever I met a new girl was to focus on creating tension. One way that I would do that is by introducing myself as “the Josh.”Whenever a girl would say, “Why do you call yourself the Josh?” I would simply say, “Because I’m the only Josh that matters.”
This immediately painted me as a cocky, funny guy and led to one of two responses. The girl would roll her eyes and yet continue to talk to me, or she would laugh and think I’m funny and want to spend more time around me.
The second thing I would say in that conversation to continue creating that tension is this: “Rule number one, everyone loves the Josh. So, by the end of the night, you’re gonna fall in love with me too.”
That line always led to a sarcastic response from the girl, which meant that she was playing into that tension. And as I continued to talk to her throughout the night, I just kept referencing that first rule, just kept saying, “You see, you’re falling in love with me the more you get to know me. I knew this was gonna happen.”
Tip #2: Learn how to tell highly engaging stories
Another thing I used to always really hone in on was telling engaging stories. The better of a storyteller you are, the more people want to learn about you, the more people want to be in your presence because you always have something interesting to say. I’d find the most creative ways to weave personal stories into conversations to add more depth to who I was in front of them.
So, for example, if I was talking about how I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts, that might spin into a story about how I was a rebel who didn’t want to follow the rules. Or if I tell them about how I fell into an open grave, that might lead to a conversation about our bucket list and things we want to accomplish before we die.
Looking back at my life, there have been crazy things that have happened, but it’s not always the craziest story that captivates a person. Sometimes it’s the different voices you use in telling that story or the characters you bring up or including that person in the experience and asking them how they would have handled it. Doing these little things makes that story more dynamic and it makes you much more attractive to that person.
Every time I would talk to a new girl, I would still tell the same old stories, but telling them over and over again to new people allows you to sharpen them, to make them wittier, funnier, catchier, and much more interesting.
Tip #3: ALWAYS be in flirting mode
Another technique that I used to personally use to win girls over is much more than that. It’s actually a mindset, and that is to always be flirting. No matter who you’re talking to, always add elements of flirtatiousness in those conversations.
I realized early on that it was hard sometimes to go from platonic conversations to romantic ones. So, by always staying in that flirtatious mindset, any girl I talked to just saw that it was embedded in my personality. Joshua’s gonna compliment them. Joshua’s gonna flirt with them. Josh was going to make a cocky, funny joke. That’s just who he is as a person.
Plus, if you’re already in that headspace, it becomes so much easier to approach any girl that you want. By flirting with the girls that are your friends, you build up your confidence. You learn how to say things in the right way when you just feel like it rolls smoothly. So, when you do actually talk to a girl that you like, it’s not a new experience for you. You’re a pro at it.
Tip #4: Establish yourself as a group leader.
And another technique that I used to commonly use that is definitely worth trying but takes a longer time to actually get the results of is becoming a plan maker, an organizer, a leader, someone that brings people together and sets the whole shindig up.
I used to do this all the time whenever I met a random girl at a bar or a party or somewhere else. We’d talk to each other, get to know one another, become online friends. And because I was involved in a lot of creative projects, recording skits and things like that, I’d invite these girls over to be a part of it, to be a character on that episode or to be a background character of some sort. Just having them observe me in this director role, telling people what to do, organizing things, recording it, putting the whole show together made me look so important.
People tend to feel way more comfortable in a group environment when there’s one person organizing activities. So, I’d invite these girls over, they’d observe me in this natural habitat of being a leader. I’d talk to them better, and now they got to know me on a much deeper level, to see that I was truly a confident guy worth getting to know.
Coupling all of these techniques — always flirting, creating tension, being a storyteller, and being a leader — is going to allow you to stand out compared to all the other guys using the same old, same old techniques.
This is exactly what I used to do to win over girls. It allowed me to feel more comfortable and confident. They observed me in my natural habitat and my environment. They saw who I was on a deeper level, and overall, it just worked out for me better.
So, I implore you to try these techniques with your own twist.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.