If you have a crush on your best friend’s sibling you probably think it’s an impossible scenario to ever date them but I’m here to tell you that it’s not. You just have to go about doing it the right way.
Not gonna lie here, dating a friend’s sibling is a pretty taboo topic because you’re bound to run into certain uncomfortable questions like should I tell my friend in the first place, how’s it going to affect our friendship and what do I do if they reject me.
#1: Avoid making suggestive comments about them to your friend
The first thing you should know when it comes to planting those seeds so that your friend is okay with you asking out and even dating their sibling is that you should never ever make any suggestive or sexual comments in front of them about that sibling.
Don’t say things like dude your sister’s really hot because all it’s going to do is make them super uncomfortable. This is their sibling, they don’t view them in that way at all so hearing you talk about them in this sexual way is just gonna make things awkward.
Remember you want them on your side and to hopefully have their approval when the time comes for you to make that move which also means being honest.
If they start to notice that you feel some kind of way about their sibling and they flat out ask you, don’t lie. Don’t tell them you don’t see them that way. Let them know that you like their sibling and you want to ask them out. This is going to be the honest, open transparency you need for your friendship to survive.
Now telling your friend how you feel about their sibling might not always go the way that you want. In your mind, you’re probably thinking they’re going to pat you on the back and say “Go for it! Yeah, everything’s great!”. But sometimes they don’t feel that way.
Sometimes they’re annoyed or upset or just disgusted by the fact that you want to date their brother or sister. They might even see this as a deal breaker in your friendship. For them, it’s just too weird.
#2: Realize that you’re not asking for their permission to date their sibling.
You’re just informing them and letting them know how you feel and what your plans are. Some people might even say don’t betray your friend’s trust over someone that you simply like.
Your friendship probably has a stronger basis to it and if things don’t work out you might lose that close friend and I totally understand that perspective however, I would push back and ask how exactly are you betraying them? Because it makes them feel weird?
That weird feeling is something they can eventually work through. Once they see that the two of you are happy together. So I don’t think that’s enough of a reason to not pursue them.
Much like dating someone else in your friend group, it’s gonna feel unnatural to everyone else at first but over time they’re just gonna get used to it and move on.
#3: Be prepared to convince them that you are mature enough to date them
So I wouldn’t say your biggest challenge is managing things with your friend it’s actually getting their sibling to view you as someone as their equal.
Keep in mind they view their sibling in a certain way. If they’re an older brother or older sister they view their younger brother or younger sister like a younger kid. And if you’re someone of that same age you might get viewed in that way too.
Getting your friend’s sibling who’s a little bit older than you to truly notice you, depending on what grade you’re in or what age you are is going to be an uphill battle. The best way to approach that battle is to shed away any signs or actions of immaturity that you carry.
That means being a little bit more mindful when you talk to them, learning how to flirt, learning how to really focus on your hobbies and your interests, and knowing how to display that so you seem like an attractive person in their eyes.
Your friend might try to tear this down and the reason is that they just find the whole thing weird. If you can clearly communicate how you feel to your friend and be open and honest with them and let them know that you’re not a sleazeball, you’re not going to be weird and awkward and creepy with their sibling they can actually be the best supportive person there because they know their sibling probably the best.
Just try your best here to put your confidence on display. Not trying to say this whole situation isn’t weird and hard to navigate. It definitely is but there is a way to get through it and it comes down to just being real.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.
