If you’re obsessed with a girl that you like I want to tell you two things right off the bat. Number one, stop it! You need to move on and let this crush go. Number two, it’s hard. She’s perfect, she’s beautiful, she’s amazing in every way. It’s not that easy, but, it is possible.
Listen I’ve been there before. I’ve had crushes on girls that totally consumed me. I would sit in class just thinking about them all the time. My feelings were so strong that they actually hurt. The fact that I was not with them just made me feel so bad and you might be in a similar position.
I mean we’re talking about your crush. Not your girlfriend, not the person you’re dating, this is someone that you like, that you are not active with. So how do you stop them from consuming you? From controlling your life? From being on your mind non-stop?
#1: Destroy the fantasy image that you’ve created of them in your head.
When you think about yourself, you probably think that you’re awkward and shy and weird sometimes, but her? Absolutely not. They have it all figured out. They seem so calm and rational in every situation, you just wish that you can be as natural around them as they are around you.
The truth is you don’t really know what’s going on in her head. Just because she is an insanely beautiful girl doesn’t mean that she doesn’t also feel awkward and shy sometimes. She might just be better at masking it, so take her down from that pedestal you’ve put her on because she’s a normal person just like you. And even if you do get those butterflies every time you see her in person or see a picture she posts online you have to keep that in perspective.
#2: Stop putting her as your number one priority.
You’re thinking about her all the time. You’re thinking about her well-being, how she’s doing, how she’s feeling, and you might have forgotten one important person in your life and that’s you.
Forget her for a second, how are you doing? What are you doing to improve your life? What new skills are you learning? What talents are you working on? The more you can kind of really put yourself at the center of your focus the easier it’s going to be for you to realize that you bring something to the table just like she does. It might be her looks, it might be her personality, whatever it may be but you have something of value to share as well.
It’s pretty common that when you are fixated on someone you tend to spend a lot of your time seeking their approval and their attention for them to notice you, for them to stay in a conversation with you, for them to answer your DMs.
Everything is coming from a place of neediness but if you put yourself at your own center and think about how you can grow as an individual you now have things to share rather than needing them to kind of fill that gap.
#3: Make it a habit to be more open with your feelings.
Now that doesn’t mean telling them how you feel but it could mean telling a close friend or opening up to someone else around you. The reason why it’s so important to share is that you’re going to gain a different perspective on things when you are the only person trying to interpret those small interactions you have with your crush. You’re going to play them up in your mind and think that they’re bigger than they are.
Every time she looks at you for more than two seconds or sends you a winky face emoji or DMs you for the first time you’re gonna think that’s her expressing her love to you but, gaining a friend’s perspective and hearing what they have to say might actually help you realize there’s nothing more than just that her being nice.
Your friends will keep you grounded. Now it doesn’t always mean that their interpretations are right. Sometimes those are flirty and romantic advances from your crush and you should act on that but it’s good to hear what other people have to say so that you’re not the only person just creating the story in your own mind.
#4: Pursue other people while you’re crushing on them.
And speaking about overanalyzing every single detail, it is going to drive you mad. You’re going to interpret everything as either a positive or a negative. Sometimes you’re going to have a conversation with your crush and walk away feeling on top of the world, other times they’re just not going to respond to your DM and you’re going to feel like complete crap.
And really the only way to avoid these constant ups and downs that you are going to a hundred percent have with your crush is to recognize that they are just one of many crushes you’re going to have going forward.
There are tons of people that you’re going to like as you grow so don’t limit yourself to just this one person. Be open to pursuing and dating other people if you feel like they may also match your interests.
It’s time for you to cut that cord and stop simping. I want you to ask that girl out. You have what it takes to be somebody great, so go for it.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.