Have you ever had a crush on a girl and thought “Yes, this is the girl for me. She’s perfect in every way. I need to ask her to be my girlfriend” only to have her break your heart?
So, you might be wondering what’s a proven way to make sure you never get your heart broken again? I’m gonna give you five.
Whenever you start to develop a new crush on someone it’s totally normal for your mind to start developing all these dream scenarios of the two of you being together.
You may start to dream up scenarios of the two of you talking and hanging out, flirting and being intimate, or even being in a relationship.
All of this is totally normal but if you continuously are thinking about those things without interacting with the person, you’re leading yourself to potential heartbreak.
Rule #1: Take your time in getting to know them.
Telling yourself over and over this simple phrase: “I need more than just to be attracted to them to want to be in a relationship with them” is going to actually allow you to sit there and vet them as a person.
- Do you have similar hobbies and interests?
- Do you have similar paths and purposes in life?
- Do you have a mutual connection?
- Is there a vibe there?
- Can you talk to them with ease?
- Do you feel like the two of you will just get along after a while?
Sometimes we are just led astray by the beauty of someone that we stop asking questions. We stop learning about them. We stop really trying to see if they’re actually a good fit for us.
Rule #2: Pay attention to potential red flags.
A lot of times these aren’t so obvious because you’re so enamored with this person that any attention they give you, you feel like it’s a positive thing but sometimes it’s not.
- Do they constantly cancel or reschedule plans whenever you ask them to hang out?
- Are they always leaving you on read whenever you text them?
- Do you feel like the communication or attention from them is inconsistent?
Some days they’re really hot and paying attention to you and then some days they’re really cold and it feels like they don’t know you at all.
These are clear and obvious red flags looking from the outside in that they’re just not ready to be in a relationship with you but because you’re getting something from them just a little bit you’re holding on to that dear hope that maybe it’s going to lead to something more and in reality, you’re just wasting your time.
Rule #3: Don’t make the pursuit of them the sole focus of your life.
It’s easy to fall into that trap where you are constantly thinking about them every single day to the point where you are neglecting the other areas and passions in your own life.
When you do that you start to tip the scale more and more so that your happiness and fulfillment rest on what she decides to do. If she wants to be with you great, everything works out. But if she doesn’t, you’re going to be devastated and heartbroken.
Prioritize your friendships and your hobbies and anything else that brings you joy throughout the day because if she turns around and shoots you down, you’re still gonna have something to stand on that’s going to keep you going.
Rule #4: Be as clear and open as possible when it comes to communicating your feelings.
If you hide behind this veil of ambiguity where they don’t really know how you feel and you don’t really want to say anything because they might reject you, you’re just wasting your time.
Your connection with them will continue to grow, and the hope of being with them will continue to rise, but eventually, if you do get friend-zoned that heartbreak is gonna hurt a whole lot more. Being clear and open about how you feel makes you appear more confident.
It makes it easy for them to see why you want to talk to them and what you hope to accomplish and it overall prevents you from investing in something that’s not going to lead anywhere.
Rule #5: Keep a strong sense of perspective.
You have these big deep-seated feelings for this person and you think they may be the one but if they were to turn around and tell you that they don’t like you, are you going to allow that heartbreak to totally throw you off course into finding a partner that’s right for you?
Developing the strength to bounce back from heartbreak is part of the process of preventing it in the future. The more you can build that muscle and train yourself to recognize that “Hey, this person doesn’t like me back. That doesn’t mean I’m undateable and unlovable. I just need to find someone who I actually can be with.”
If you can shift your perspective to that mindset, you’re not going to worry so much about heartbreak. You’re going to focus way more on how to be successful.
Remember this at the core of things, if a girl doesn’t like you back she’s not choosing to break your heart. That feeling of having your heart broken exists internally which means there’s only one person that can deal with it and manage it and that is you.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.