Do you want to know the five traits that you need to have as a guy to be way more dateable? No, it’s not looks, money, and status no matter how much the Red Pill community wants you to believe. It’s actually something a lot deeper that’s going to make you a much better partner.
I see it all the time pushed on the internet everywhere. This huge emphasis is on being super built, having lots of money, having really high status, and being popular, but that’s all going to make you popular in the most general sense. It’s not going to actually make you dateable.
I would consider someone that’s dateable to be the type of person that’s working to allow someone else to be a part of their life so they can feel safe, secure, and optimistic about what the future looks like with the two of you as a couple.
That other stuff is good but it really only focuses on the attraction piece so you’re gonna bring a lot of people in but they’re not all going to be up to the level of quality that you probably want in dating. Instead, you should be focusing on this.
#1: Develop a deeper sense of self-awareness.
Understanding your thoughts and feelings and emotions is going to allow you to make better decisions in your life. You’re not going to be reactive all the time and just act upon whatever your whim is.
You’re going to be thoughtful, more calculated, and more precise, and you’re going to choose people that you can form healthy relationships with rather than toxic ones. Deep self-awareness is truly reflective.
How do you respond to other people? What type of people do you tend to attract into your life? Are you constantly getting into relationships with people that you know are bad for you but you can’t seem to break that cycle? Understanding your own self-awareness is gonna be key.
#2: Improve your communication skills.
This is gonna have a massive impact on your dating life. You’ll ask interesting questions that are super engaging. You’ll be able to go into deeper conversations where that person you’re talking to feels seen and heard. And most importantly you’ll be able to express yourself in a way that you could find the words to really relay how you feel.
Most guys suck at expressing how they feel. A big reason for that is culturally we’re kind of told to not really be as expressive because it makes men look weak if they share a lot of their feelings. That’s something that’s pushed kind of heavily in these red pill communities but it couldn’t be anything further from the truth.
If you could be thoughtful about what you want to say and open and expressive about how you feel that’s a double whammy right there.
#3: Work on building your self-esteem.
Having a positive sense of self when you reflect on your own life, your own accomplishments, your own abilities is going to make you a more dateable person because the person you’re interacting with is going to feed off of that energy. They’re going to see that you have this zest for life. You want to accomplish things, you have goals and meaning and purpose behind everything you do.
If you’re someone that’s wandering aimlessly through life, you have no direction, no purpose, and no sense of being. You don’t really look at yourself as someone who’s worthy of love. Why would this other person see that in you? They’re going to see someone that they don’t want to date and just a ton of red flags.
I’m not saying getting there is super easy. You might just be someone who’s had a string of bad luck. You might have been in a position where things just haven’t worked in your favor all throughout your life.
That doesn’t mean you’re undateable but as long as you are actively working on building up your self-esteem, as long as you see a light at the end of that tunnel, that you’re constantly working towards, that’s the hope that’s needed.
#4: Be open to new experiences.
We’re talking about inviting someone into your life that has their own thoughts and feelings and experiences. They’re going to want to share things with you that are totally outside of your norm. Totally outside of your comfort zone. So if you’re not open to trying them you’re really going to shut this person out and not allow yourself to truly grow.
A big part of being open to new things means allowing for flexibility. That means getting rid of these hard and steadfast rules for what you will and will not do. Allow your partner to influence you. Pick up from their energy, and learn from their life experience just like you want them to learn from yours.
#5: Have a sense of emotional maturity.
That means avoiding playing games and recognizing that relationships naturally have their ups and downs. There’ll be times when the two of you will get along great and other times when you won’t. You’ll fight sometimes and that’s okay. Getting upset that this person isn’t doing exactly what you want every step of the way is only going to create a world of stress for you.
You have to learn to be patient and understanding in any type of relationship so if you want to be someone that’s a real dateable partner here you have to recognize that they are a person too. They move at their own pace. You’re not always going to see eye to eye and that’s totally fine.
Having that emotional maturity is what’s going to prevent you from cheating on them or lying to them or talking trash about them to everyone that you know. You’re going to be respectful even if the relationship deteriorates because you know who you are. You know what your values are and you’re not going to allow this other person to bring them down if that’s the direction that they go in.
And you might be thinking this is not all going to come up on a first date right? Absolutely not. What we’re talking about here is grounding these principles in your everyday actions so that when you do go on dates you make sure that part of your solid foundation is how you interact with that person.
Whether it’s your first date or your 10th date you always want that person to walk away feeling like you are secure in who you are and what you bring to the table. You’re an interesting and creative person in what you have to share, you’re respectful and kind in hearing them out, you’re interested in learning, you want to try new things and you are mature enough to handle a relationship. A lot of people aren’t but you’re going to be the difference maker.
These are all traits that are 100% attainable by you. You just have to take these action steps to make them happen.
On that note, I’ll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.