Heya playa, if you wanna learn how to be likable at school, without having to be popular, I’m gonna tell you exactly what you need to do.
Being likable really comes down to a few key characteristics that you need to embody. Having these things and doing these things will help people see you as someone that they can trust. Someone that they can go to, someone that they like. Let’s say you’re starting from complete scratch. No one really knows who you are, you aren’t really that popular. How do you break out of that mold?
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Well the very first thing you’re gonna wanna start doing is showing interest in other people. Letting other people see that you care about what they have to say and what they have to offer. Being a good listener will take you very far, trust me on that. By asking the right type of questions and showing people that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to offer, they’re gonna feel like you’re way more likable because they can open up to you, they can be honest with you, they can share things with you.
Imagine that you’re a gamer and someone came up to you asking about video games, they wanted to know what your favorite game was of all time, what game you’re currently playing and what game you’re excited for. Wouldn’t you feel like that person is way more likable, someone you wanna spend time with just because they’re genuinely interested in you? One key tip that goes along with that strategy is to not just do that with one person. Do it with lots of different people. Start asking questions, start learning about other people.
The more social you are, the easier it’s gonna be for everyone to start to feel like you’re a more likable person. Plus, you make yourself way more visible in class, in the hallway, at lunch, after school, at work, wherever you are. People will start to take a liking to you because you’re taking a liking to them. What I don’t recommend though is beating people down with questions. If you just keep asking question after question and it doesn’t lead to anything, they’re gonna start to get annoyed.
So you’re gonna wanna do the second piece of this which is to ask them to hang out. You wanna start transitioning to making plans together where the two of you can just enjoy each other’s company. One way that I used to do this whenever I would meet a new person is to invite them into my world, I’d get a bunch of my friends together and a bunch of people that I didn’t really know that well that I wanted to get to know better and invite them out to go do something that all of us can enjoy. Whether it was watch a movie, go to a party, or just hang out somewhere together.
People generally feel way more comfortable in group settings especially when there are other people there they they know because having a one-on-one with someone that you don’t really know that well can get kind of awkward but if your friends are there or people you slightly know, it becomes a little less nerve wracking. A little easier for you to communicate with someone and to open up to them. And the best part is, you don’t have to be popular to organize things. You can simply find a cool thing to do and invite a bunch of people to go with you. You don’t have to have any kind of status in school or have a certain number of friends, you can just be the kind of person that is a planner. Someone who puts fun things together and invites people out to go do them.
Most of the time, people respond very well to strong leadership, to someone stepping up and trying to make the event fun. A lot of times when you’re popular and you’re in a popular circle, you guys kinda just stay in your own little loop of people, hanging out with the same people. You’re never really branching out. So while the popular kids may seem like they’re cool and on top, the fact of the matter is that they can’t break out of their circle because when they do, that’s when they’re no longer popular and they can’t really give that power up. But being a likable person transcends being popular.
You can get along with popular kids, you can get along with non-popular kids, at the end of the day what you’re doing is putting your confidence on display. You’re showing other people that you’re interested in them, you wanna talk to them, you wanna build friendships. You’re not gonna let the fear of whatever their status is and yours interfere with that. And I know you might be thinking, but I can’t even break into their inner circle.
Whenever I try to talk to one of the popular kids, they just kind of shut me out. So what do I do?
Well, every person has the same desire. And that desire is to be understood for who they are. So if you can communicate with one of the popular kids in class and in the hallway, wherever you see them one-on-one, outside of their group, that’s your opportunity to show them that you can be a good friend, you can be a good listener, and you can be a person that they can turn to rather than just having to always turn to their popular friends.
A group of popular people is nothing more than a bunch of individual people put together. So focus on communicating and connecting with individuals. Not with the popular group as a whole and doing that is going to help you be way more likable and not just in their eyes, but in anyone else’s eyes that you interact with. If you’re someone people can trust, if you’re a good listener, if you’re a good friend and you’re a plan maker then you will succeed. Trust me on that one.
I’ll catch you guys tomorrow. As always, love and peace.