Heya playa, there have been several times in my life where at first I was too nervous to talk to a girl but then I worked up the courage to do it, and those are stories I want to share with you. Each of the three stories that I want to share ended up having their own own unique barriers that I had to overcome. And that fear was something I was able to overcome simply by pushing myself to do it but I’ll share how I did that right after this.
Picture this, it’s Christmas Eve and I’m going Christmas shopping with my parents to pick up last minute gifts for family and friends and those kinds of people.We walked into this store named Telco. Telco is just kind of this average clothing department store. And as my parents were looking for random items to get people, I’m just kind of casually strolling through the store when I spot this girl. I don’t know if you guys know who Skye Sweetnam is but this girl looked exactly like her.
And I’m just standing there with my mouth hanging low like uhhh as this girl is walking around because she worked in the store. I would pass around different aisles and I kept telling myself, aw man I should ask her out, I should talk to her but I didn’t do it. Instead I kept a safe distance from me and her and just stared at her and did absolutely nothing. Eventually my parents got everything they needed and as we were heading out of the store I took one last look at her.
Fast forward now to the next year, the next Christmas Eve and we’re back in this store shopping once again. This time around I was thinking to myself, if I see her, I’m going to go talk to her. I’m not going to come up with any excuses. And sure enough, here was this girl unpacking Christmas decorations and I just stood there. I walked around the aisles telling myself, all I have to do is say hi, just walk up to her and say hi. The longer I waited, the more excuses I came up with for not talking to her until eventually we left the store once again.
This time though, I was beating myself up. How could I miss an opportunity like this again, I just, I couldn’t believe it. And then queue again, one more year, Christmas Eve, we’re back in this store and I see the girl for a third time. This time around I had been reading a lot of different books like “The Game” by Neil Strauss and a bunch of different pick up artist material. I remember reading about the three second rule which I did a video on which you can check out so I told myself, I have to go talk to her within three seconds of seeing her.
And this time I made no excuses, I walked right on up to her as she was unpacking pillows or whatever it was at the time and said “hi”. She said “hello” back probably thinking I was just a person asking a store related question, but then was a little bit intrigued when I asked her what her plans were for Christmas break. She told me she would be working in that store like she does every single year and we ended up carrying a little bit of a conversation.
I told her we go there every single year to get last minute gifts, we shared a laugh about that and eventually I let her go. I didn’t put the pressure on myself to ask her out or ask for her number or to feel like I needed to follow up. I just wanted to accomplish my goal of saying hello and carrying a small conversation. Because I knew if I set my goal way too high and I failed, I’d be crushed so instead I started with a very very small step of just saying “hello”.
And saying hello can get you very very far, which leads me into the next story where I had bought tickets to go to a Kina Grannis concert and none of my friends knew who she was at the time. There’s probably some of you out there who don’t know who Kina Grannis is either but she was one of the original YouTube musicians who came out, developed herself on YouTube and made a career out of it. She was having a concert in the city that I really wanted to go to but because none of my friends knew who she was, nor did they care, I ended up going solo. I kept thinking to myself man this is gonna suck.
I’m gonna be at this concert all by myself and I’m gonna have no one to enjoy it with. When the day of the concert came, I headed on over there, heading into the venue and saw tons of people standing around in their own little groups talking. I gotta admit, I felt like kind of a loser. I was just wandering around by myself with no one to talk to when it finally hit me. All this time I had worried about being at this concert with no one to talk to when I realized everyone there was a Kina Grannis fan and that was the perfect thing to talk about.
So I looked around and spotted two girls standing around by themselves talking, so I walked on over and said “hey, how long have you guys been Kina Grannis fans?”. Boom, instant connection. We were talking about our favorite songs, how long we had been watching her YouTube channel and what we were excited to see her perform that night. They said they were waiting for their third friend to show up so I asked them to tell me a little bit about her so when she showed up I could surprise her and pretend like I already knew about her.
This was a lot of fun because when the girl showed up, she was surprised and intrigued by how this guy knew so much about her and now I had three people to enjoy the Kina Grannis concert with. In the end, we waited on line to take a picture with Kina Grannis. It didn’t matter whether or not these girls were going to be my friends going forward and we were going to go to concerts and hang out together, that night we shared an experience and all I had to do was say hi and talk about something we both liked.
Speaking about sharing experiences, let me tell you guys all about the time that I spent the entire night hanging out with Grace Helbig. Grace Helbig is someone that I’m sure a lot of you guys know but for those of you who don’t, Grace Helbig is a YouTuber who used to work for a company called My Damn Channel. Her original DailyGrace series used to be under their network before she branched off and became her own person. At the time, My Damn Channel was celebrating its 4 year anniversary of being a company. And they sent out invitations to anyone on their mailing list to come celebrate.
I saw the invitation and saw that a bunch of YouTubers like DailyGrace, John Basedow and a bunch of others were going to be there and I knew I had to go. It just so happens though that on this specific day on this specific time, no one I knew was available so I had to choose, did I want to travel in to this random party by myself or just not go. Like I said, this was an opportunity I couldn’t miss, so I traveled on into the building and stood around drinking water and looking at all the famous people. I didn’t know who to engage first so I ended up sitting in my own little corner for a while.
I had to keep telling myself no, you’re here for a reason, go and meet people from My Damn Channel, go and meet YouTubers, go make the most of this. There were a ton of beautiful girls there who I just knew I wasn’t going to talk to just because I didn’t know what to say. On the side though, I stopped to talk to this random guy and when I asked him what he did he told me, “yea, I do the visual effects for Thor”.
And that’s when I thought to myself, man, yea these people are way out of my league. But when I spotted Grace Helbig, I knew she was the person I wanted to talk to but I was so nervous about doing it. I ended up walking around the couch where she was sitting and we made eye contact a few times and I knew that if I didn’t talk to her then, I would just be that creepy guy who was staring at her. So I eventually walked on over to her and said “hey, you’re Grace? I love your YouTube channel. My name is Josh”. This was prior to me doing The Josh Speaks so I talked to her about the comedy channel that me and my friends had and we both talked about YouTube and what we liked about it and what we didn’t like.
Eventually her boyfriend at the time came on over to introduce himself, we had a brief conversation as well and then eventually me and Grace just sat down and started talking. It was awesome, once this kind of celebrity barrier was dropped, we ended up just communicating like normal people. And I think that happens sometimes, whether it’s a celebrity, a popular person you like or just someone you’ve seen from a distance but have never talked to, we always assume the worst as if they’re not gonna talk to us like we’re normal people.
But we hung out, we took a bunch of pictures together including this girl who reminded me of an Australian Hilary Duff. And once again I walked away feeling confident just by having a simple conversation. I didn’t need to connect with her or try to do a collab or anything like that. Just talking to her made me feel more confident.
And I think that’s something I want you guys to learn too. Just by engaging in a simple conversation, you will build up your confidence, so even if you’re too scared to talk to your crush, just starting a conversation with anyone will boost up that level.
What do you think, have you ever run into a situation where you pushed yourself to talk to someone even though you were nervous? Leave your comment below and we’ll talk about it.
That girl in Telco, those girls at the Kina Grannis concert and Grace Helbig, those were all memories that I’ll never forget because they’ll always be ingrained in my mind as times I’ve pushed myself beyond my fears to talk to someone.