Heya playas, growing up I was never really one of the popular kids and because of that I was often bullied from time to time. So what I want to share with you today are a few different instances of how I was bullied and how I dealt with it. In each of these stories, I handled these situations in completely different ways but I’ll explain more, right after this.
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I wanna jump all the way back to elementary school. Now, there was a kid that was known around the school as being the one that always got in trouble, always bullied others and was just recognized as that kind of kid. And it seemed like out of nowhere his younger brother also followed in his footsteps and became the next in line to bully the kids. Bullying for them seemed to run in the family which led me to believe that there was probably more going on for these bullies at home.
But I didn’t understand that when I was younger, you see, this bully would pick on me during lunch. He’d come over to my table, he’d grab my food, he’d call me names, he’d throw things at my back when I wasn’t looking. I never even interacted with this kid and he found the need to continue to harass me simply because, that’s kind of what bullies do sometimes.
He kept doing this day after day after day until eventually I got so frustrated, I turned around and told him “look, if you don’t stop, I’m going to tell on you”. And that was the problem there, no one likes to be snitched on, especially the bully that’s causing the problem. So he decided to threaten to beat me up if I told on him which I decided to tell the teacher anyway. And because of this whole fiasco, we both got called into the principles office and they left us to sit together, alone in the principals office.
As we sat there, eventually we started talking and he opened up to me and said he didn’t want to get in trouble because his parents would really take it out on him. So I told him I would do my best to not escalate the situation as long as he stopped picking on me which he eventually agreed to do.
Jumping into middle school though, I handled my bullying situation a lot differently. In middle school though there was this tiny little kid who hung out with these really big tall kids so he found himself being the king of the block being able to bully anyone he wanted because his friends always had his back.
Now this was a kid I never interacted with. Sure he was in my grade but we weren’t in the same classes so I never really talked to him but I knew he was a trouble maker and one day he decided to be leaving the lunch room when he decided to pick up a sandwich that was either on the floor or he had and just chucked it in the air and it ended up hitting me in the back of the head. So when I turned around to figure out: A. What hit me? and B. Who threw it? I saw him standing there with his friends laughing at me saying “dude, what are you gonna do about it?”.
Now I don’t think this was the best way to handle it but it’s what I did. As he was walking outside of the lunch room, I went up behind him and I shoved him as hard as I could into the wall. He went flying forward and hit the wall face first. He turns around and lunges at me so we start wrestling on the table. And as he’s throwing these wild haymaker punches at me, I end up grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back and then pinning him down against the table.
Surprisingly, none of his friends had come to interfere. Instead everyone just kind of stood around in a circle and watched. So I pinned him down against the table and said, until a teacher comes over, I’m not letting you go. Eventually a teacher came over, I explained what happened and told him I defended myself when in reality I went back and attacked him, the whole thing ended up getting dropped and nothing else happened for both of us.
Both of those stories are two totally different ways from how I handled verbal bullying in high school. In High School, I had the biggest crush on Hilary Duff, I would keep pictures of her in my notebook and look at it every single day. So one day this tough gangsta looking kid comes over and starts making fun of me for liking Hilary Duff. He started to call me a range of different insults from you’re a faggot, you’re gay, you’re stupid, you have sex with your mom, everything that you can think of to try to get under my skin.
So I sat there thinking, why is he saying this and why does it bother him so much? It’s got nothing to do with him. As he kept going on and on with the insults he asked me, what do you have pictures of Hilary Duff on your walls at home too? So I told him and said “yea, I have a poster of Hilary Duff on my wall. What posters do you have on your wall?”. So he said to me, “yo I ain’t gay like you. I got a poster of 50 cent on my wall”.
So I stopped and thought about it for a second, and then told him. The picture of 50 cent where he’s sitting there all greased up and shirtless? You have a picture of a greased up shirtless man on your wall and you’re saying all these things about me? And then he stopped, and thought about it for a second, called me an asshole and then walked away. Now I wasn’t trying to be offensive in any way, I just wasn’t sure why he was so adamant about trying to make me feel bad for liking something that he didn’t.
And that’s when I realized bullies act from a place of insecurity. And whether it was elementary school, middle school or high school for me, each of these people needed to display power to feel valuable. Now I don’t know which of the three scenarios was the right way to handle it, should I have told I was gonna tell on him, should I have fought him or should I have just fought him at his own game, I don’t really know. But what I do know is that there’s no easy way to handle a bully and all throughout my life, I’ve had to deal with them.
And I’m pretty sure some of you have had to deal with them too so, leave a comment below and let me know your bully stories and how you handled them.
Bullies man, I’ll tell ya. Just remember that every single bully has a story behind why they’re acting like a jerk. So don’t always look at it at face value recognize that there’s more than you maybe don’t know right now.
As always guys, love and peace.