thumbnail-random-girl

How I Would Talk a Random Girl (Like Grace Helbig)

Heya playa, there have been several times in my life where at first I was too nervous to talk to a girl but then I worked up the courage to do it, and those are stories I want to share with you. Each of the three stories that I want to share ended up having their own own unique barriers that I had to overcome. And that fear was something I was able to overcome simply by pushing myself to do it but I’ll share how I did that right after this.


Want exclusive stories and tips that I don’t share in my videos? Join the Newsletter.


Picture this, it’s Christmas Eve and I’m going Christmas shopping with my parents to pick up last minute gifts for family and friends and those kinds of people.We walked into this store named Telco. Telco is just kind of this average clothing department store. And as my parents were looking for random items to get people, I’m just kind of casually strolling through the store when I spot this girl. I don’t know if you guys know who Skye Sweetnam is but this girl looked exactly like her.

And I’m just standing there with my mouth hanging low like uhhh as this girl is walking around because she worked in the store. I would pass around different aisles and I kept telling myself, aw man I should ask her out, I should talk to her but I didn’t do it. Instead I kept a safe distance from me and her and just stared at her and did absolutely nothing. Eventually my parents got everything they needed and as we were heading out of the store I took one last look at her.

Fast forward now to the next year, the next Christmas Eve and we’re back in this store shopping once again. This time around I was thinking to myself, if I see her, I’m going to go talk to her. I’m not going to come up with any excuses. And sure enough, here was this girl unpacking Christmas decorations and I just stood there. I walked around the aisles telling myself, all I have to do is say hi, just walk up to her and say hi. The longer I waited, the more excuses I came up with for not talking to her until eventually we left the store once again.

This time though, I was beating myself up. How could I miss an opportunity like this again, I just, I couldn’t believe it. And then queue again, one more year, Christmas Eve, we’re back in this store and I see the girl for a third time. This time around I had been reading a lot of different books like “The Game” by Neil Strauss and a bunch of different pick up artist material. I remember reading about the three second rule which I did a video on which you can check out so I told myself, I have to go talk to her within three seconds of seeing her.

And this time I made no excuses, I walked right on up to her as she was unpacking pillows or whatever it was at the time and said “hi”. She said “hello” back probably thinking I was just a person asking a store related question, but then was a little bit intrigued when I asked her what her plans were for Christmas break. She told me she would be working in that store like she does every single year and we ended up carrying a little bit of a conversation.

I told her we go there every single year to get last minute gifts, we shared a laugh about that and eventually I let her go. I didn’t put the pressure on myself to ask her out or ask for her number or to feel like I needed to follow up. I just wanted to accomplish my goal of saying hello and carrying a small conversation. Because I knew if I set my goal way too high and I failed, I’d be crushed so instead I started with a very very small step of just saying “hello”.

And saying hello can get you very very far, which leads me into the next story where I had bought tickets to go to a Kina Grannis concert and none of my friends knew who she was at the time. There’s probably some of you out there who don’t know who Kina Grannis is either but she was one of the original YouTube musicians who came out, developed herself on YouTube and made a career out of it. She was having a concert in the city that I really wanted to go to but because none of my friends knew who she was, nor did they care, I ended up going solo. I kept thinking to myself man this is gonna suck.

I’m gonna be at this concert all by myself and I’m gonna have no one to enjoy it with. When the day of the concert came, I headed on over there, heading into the venue and saw tons of people standing around in their own little groups talking. I gotta admit, I felt like kind of a loser. I was just wandering around by myself with no one to talk to when it finally hit me. All this time I had worried about being at this concert with no one to talk to when I realized everyone there was a Kina Grannis fan and that was the perfect thing to talk about.

So I looked around and spotted two girls standing around by themselves talking, so I walked on over and said “hey, how long have you guys been Kina Grannis fans?”. Boom, instant connection. We were talking about our favorite songs, how long we had been watching her YouTube channel and what we were excited to see her perform that night. They said they were waiting for their third friend to show up so I asked them to tell me a little bit about her so when she showed up I could surprise her and pretend like I already knew about her.

This was a lot of fun because when the girl showed up, she was surprised and intrigued by how this guy knew so much about her and now I had three people to enjoy the Kina Grannis concert with. In the end, we waited on line to take a picture with Kina Grannis. It didn’t matter whether or not these girls were going to be my friends going forward and we were going to go to concerts and hang out together, that night we shared an experience and all I had to do was say hi and talk about something we both liked.

Speaking about sharing experiences, let me tell you guys all about the time that I spent the entire night hanging out with Grace Helbig. Grace Helbig is someone that I’m sure a lot of you guys know but for those of you who don’t, Grace Helbig is a YouTuber who used to work for a company called My Damn Channel. Her original DailyGrace series used to be under their network before she branched off and became her own person. At the time, My Damn Channel was celebrating its 4 year anniversary of being a company. And they sent out invitations to anyone on their mailing list to come celebrate.

I saw the invitation and saw that a bunch of YouTubers like DailyGrace, John Basedow and a bunch of others were going to be there and I knew I had to go. It just so happens though that on this specific day on this specific time, no one I knew was available so I had to choose, did I want to travel in to this random party by myself or just not go. Like I said, this was an opportunity I couldn’t miss, so I traveled on into the building and stood around drinking water and looking at all the famous people. I didn’t know who to engage first so I ended up sitting in my own little corner for a while.

I had to keep telling myself no, you’re here for a reason, go and meet people from My Damn Channel, go and meet YouTubers, go make the most of this. There were a ton of beautiful girls there who I just knew I wasn’t going to talk to just because I didn’t know what to say. On the side though, I stopped to talk to this random guy and when I asked him what he did he told me, “yea, I do the visual effects for Thor”.

And that’s when I thought to myself, man, yea these people are way out of my league. But when I spotted Grace Helbig, I knew she was the person I wanted to talk to but I was so nervous about doing it. I ended up walking around the couch where she was sitting and we made eye contact a few times and I knew that if I didn’t talk to her then, I would just be that creepy guy who was staring at her. So I eventually walked on over to her and said “hey, you’re Grace? I love your YouTube channel. My name is Josh”. This was prior to me doing The Josh Speaks so I talked to her about the comedy channel that me and my friends had and we both talked about YouTube and what we liked about it and what we didn’t like.

Eventually her boyfriend at the time came on over to introduce himself, we had a brief conversation as well and then eventually me and Grace just sat down and started talking. It was awesome, once this kind of celebrity barrier was dropped, we ended up just communicating like normal people. And I think that happens sometimes, whether it’s a celebrity, a popular person you like or just someone you’ve seen from a distance but have never talked to, we always assume the worst as if they’re not gonna talk to us like we’re normal people.

But we hung out, we took a bunch of pictures together including this girl who reminded me of an Australian Hilary Duff. And once again I walked away feeling confident just by having a simple conversation. I didn’t need to connect with her or try to do a collab or anything like that. Just talking to her made me feel more confident.

And I think that’s something I want you guys to learn too. Just by engaging in a simple conversation, you will build up your confidence, so even if you’re too scared to talk to your crush, just starting a conversation with anyone will boost up that level.

What do you think, have you ever run into a situation where you pushed yourself to talk to someone even though you were nervous? Leave your comment below and we’ll talk about it.

That girl in Telco, those girls at the Kina Grannis concert and Grace Helbig, those were all memories that I’ll never forget because they’ll always be ingrained in my mind as times I’ve pushed myself beyond my fears to talk to someone.

As always guys, love and peace.


RELATED LINKS:

thumbnail-crush-snapchat

How To Talk To Your Crush on Snapchat

Heya playa, are you on Snapchat? Is your crush on Snapchat? Do you want to know how to talk to your crush on Snapchat? Well I’m going to give you a few step by step strategies on how to use Snapchat the right way when talking to your crush. So make sure to watch the entire video to see how each and every single strategy plays into the other to help you get closer to your crush on Snapchat.


Want exclusive stories and tips that I don’t share in my videos? Join the Newsletter.


Snapchat is one of the biggest apps out there being used by teens just like yourself, and the same goes with Facebook and Instagram, Snapchat is going to be premiere platform that you use to communicate with your friends and your crush. One of the first challenges that you may run into is getting your crush to add you back on Snapchat.

Sometimes people have private profiles and it’s hard to connect with them. I’m going to say though that the easiest way to get someone to add you back on Snapchat is to simply go up to them and ask them “Hey, are you on Snapchat? What’s your username?”.

Most of the time they’ll tell you, but if your crush is someone that you rarely talk to or never talk to, the best thing is to follow them and to check out their stories. At first I didn’t think stories were a big deal but they actually are. You can find out what your crush is doing every single day so you can find an opening to talk to them. Chances are they’re posting pictures and videos of them doing things with friends, hanging out at home or just being silly which is a great way for you to figure out where to insert yourself into the conversation.

The one piece of advice that I share with everyone when it comes to all types of social media is to look at what your crush is posting and to find a way to start a conversation around something they posted or to ask them a question about it. And the beauty of Snapchat is that the amount of content that they’re posting is ten-fold, meaning there are tons of opportunities for you to start talking to them. Once you find the right thing to snap them about, go ahead and do it and start getting that Snapstreak going.

For those of you who don’t know what a Snapstreak is, it’s when you send pictures and videos back and forth to a person every single day and neither of you break the chain. The key here is, the more snaps you send, the more they respond, the longer your streak goes and the closer you get to your crush. What makes Snapchat a different kind of communication tool is that the less polished and simpler your messages look, the better.

You can send pictures and videos of you just sitting there making a silly face and that’s perfectly acceptable content to send to someone. Not to mention, it makes it that much easier to send someone a message with a face that’s like bleh. If you find yourself running out of things to talk about, check out their most recent stories, ask them a question about it, rinse and repeat. All these little steps are meant to help you build a stronger connection with your crush.

Because the last thing you want to do is just confess how you feel or ask them out on the spot. I have videos going a little more in depth on both of those topics but the last thing you want to do is tell someone how you feel and instead show them how you feel. If you’re thinking about adding your crush and then sending them a gigantic paragraph explaining how much you like them, I totally advise against that.

And if you plan on adding them just to say “hey, will you go out with me?”, that’s another thing I’d advise against. The last thing you want to do is put them on the spot, make them feel nervous and force them to give you an answer when they’re not really sure how they feel yet. Another important thing to remember is just like how I’m telling you to watch their stories, create and craft interesting stories for them to check out as well.

Think about it like this, which person do you think would have an easier time talking to their crush on Snapchat? The person who’s posting cool stuff to their stories or the person who just kind of lurks. Think of your stories as a way to paint your own picture. Now I don’t advise lying or making things up just to look cool, be yourself, put yourself out there and add your own personality to the mix.

And as a side note, you can actually view who is watching your stories which means that if you see your crush is watching your stories every single day, you know you’re making progress. Once you’ve build a connection with them, how do you get to the make or break moment? How do you ask them out on Snapchat? Well, here’s my strategy that I would follow. Instead of just saying something like, Instead of just, Instead of just saying something like hey, you want to go out, Instead of just saying something like “hey you want to go out sometime?”.

Get creative and invite them to be part of your world. Record a video as you walk past the park, send them beach emojis, or take a quick picture of a movie poster and ask them, hey I want to check this out, do you want to come with me? Setting up plans that revolve around and event or activity ensures that you’re inviting them to do something that’s going to be fun. Plus you take away the whole mental gymnastics they have to play when they ask themselves, “What why are they asking me? Do they like me?” and then on top of that “Well, when we hang out, what are we going to do?”.

Ideally, I’d recommend asking them out after you’ve built that type of connection with them on Snapchat. And perhaps the best way to ask someone out is always going to be in person.

What do you think though, do you want to get to know your crush on Snapchat? Do you want to eventually even ask them out? Leave your comment below and we’ll talk about it.

If you’re watching this video, I’m assuming you’re on Snapchat, so go follow me @thejoshspeaks. Every single morning I post a motivational quote and share a motivational story with you guys along with random pictures throughout my day.

For those of you who want a boyfriend or girlfriend that you can talk to on Snapchat, and that you probably aren’t going to see in person, having a Snapstreak to go back and forth is a great way to keep a fun lasting relationship going, without having to date in real life technically.

But as cool and engaging as it may seem to talk to your crush on Snapchat, nothing will beat approaching them in person and talking to them there.

As always guys, love and peace.


RELATED LINKS:

thumbnail-first-kiss

MY FIRST KISS (How It Happened & What It Was Like)

Heya playa, do you remember what your first kiss was like because I do. Today I want to tell you guys the stories of my first kiss in elementary, middle school and high school. What happened in each of these scenarios is vastly different from the other so today I’m going to share my stories with you.


Want exclusive stories and tips that I don’t share in my videos? Join the Newsletter.


Now I know there are a lot of you out there who haven’t had their first kiss yet and most of the time we think a first kiss is this romantic, amazing experience but for most people it’s generally not. So I’d like to take you back all the way to the 3rd grade. This is when I had my very first kiss. Now to many people, a kiss is defined very differently. Some people consider it a peck while other people consider it full on making out.

For me though, as a 3rd grader who was just starting to like girls, anything would do. I remember standing around in the schoolyard one day with a group of kids from my class. At the time we were playing truth or dare but really no one was asking anyone any kind of truths, we were just daring each other to do things. And most of these dares ended up being kisses, generally they wouldn’t even say truth or dare, they would just say “ok, you go kiss that person”.

So I’m standing in a circle with a mix of guys and girls thinking “which one of these girls am I gonna get to kiss.” When all of a sudden someone called my name and one of the other girls names too. Both of us then headed over to the center and prepared to kiss. Now, being in the 3rd grade I had no clue how to actually do this so we kind of just slowly brought our faces together and then tapped. That was the moment I became a man.

No, but seriously all we did was tap kiss. We kept our eyes open and made our faces touch. The feeling of someone else’s lips tapping against mine was new to me and very very exciting. This was a moment that would stick with me forever and as a side note for you guys, I ended up running into that girls years and years later and when I brought it up to her, she completely forgot about it. But how do you forget kissing a stud like this, am I right?

And that is what I considered my first kiss at the time, moving on to middle school now. By this age, everyone was a lot more daring and pushing themselves to do things just so they can gain the experience of it. At the time my parents had me in a specialized training course that would meet during the summers and on the weekends which completely sucked, except for this one little fact.

There was this one girl that was in the same grade bracket as me that I thought was incredibly cute and I just wanted to talk to her but I couldn’t work up the courage to do it. Then one day I’m riding the bus home which she conveniently rode too and everyone decided to play truth or dare again. I’m telling you, a lot of my experiences were defined by this game of truth or dare that wasn’t even played like truth or dare. And this time around people were daring each other to make out with one another for a number of seconds.

And this time around I sat there waiting and waiting that they would pick her. And sure enough, I got incredibly lucky because they did. So I walked on over to her, I sat down next to her and we began violently making out, pretending like we knew what we were doing. When I say neither one of us knew what we were doing, I mean that. We were literally just rubbing our tongues against each other thinking this is how you make out.

As uneducated as I was on how to kiss properly, I do not regret that experience though. I remember people asking me to make out with a bunch of other girls that day too but that was the very first experience I had in middle school and that was the one I will never forget. Oddly enough, that experience didn’t happen in my actual junior high school though, come to think of it, I can’t remember kissing any girl from my normal junior high school.

And then we move on to high school, where I literally had my very first high school kiss within my first week of being there. Now you might be thinking, woah Josh that’s smooth. How’d you pull that off? But, let me tell you the story. As you guys know, I’m a huge wrestling fan. And when I first started high school I was part of a roleplay wrestling fed online. Basically what we would do is write out long long roleplays trash talking each other and whoever wrote the best one ended up winning the match.

As I mentioned before, my high school system was a little weird in the sense that we didn’t have a traditional lunch period but instead had different bands throughout the day and you got those bands off for your lunch. So in my very first quarter of high school, I had E-band which was pretty much in the middle of the day off for lunch. So instead of sitting down and eating, I would eat and write roleplays.

I would write pages and pages inside of my notebook just so I could go home and type it up that night. Yes this didn’t really introduce me to new people because I would just sit there, by myself, writing until one day a girl came up to me. She comes over and asks me what I’ doing so I had to sit and explain to her everything I just explained to you guys right now. She told me she had E-Band off and the two of us started talking.

We started to develop a really good friendship and I thought it was cool that here was this girl that came and approached me just to talk and it was that easy. She just said hi, asked me what I was up to and we became friends over something as simple as hey cool, we both have this free time together. And as we hung out day after day we got closer and closer to the point where we would meet up outside of school and hang out as well.

The thing is though, I always viewed her as a friend and little did I know that she was starting to develop some kind of feelings for me. Me and her also shared a lot of the same classes together so, at the end of that week me and her were both at the point where we were going to say bye to each other and then go home.

So I’m sitting there talking to her for a little bit after class when she decided to lean forward and kiss me. I was incredibly thrown off. I didn’t expect it, I didn’t know she felt that way about me and in that moment I just didn’t really know what to do. She just kind of looked at me and I kind of looked at her and said “Oh, ok. Well I’ll see you later.” After that long weekend had passed I ran into her again on Monday and we both talked about what happened.

I told her that I only saw her as a friend, she told me that she thought that I was interested in her which is what led to the whole kiss scenario. Sure enough, we both understood where the other person was coming from and to this day we are still very very close friends. So, if you’re someone that’s waiting for your first kiss moment or you’ve had your first kiss moment, share your story in the comment section below and we’ll talk about it.

Kissing is something that we as a society put a lot of emphasis on and while kissing is important in helping you connect better with another person, there are still plenty of other ways to connect without having to do that.

Let me know if you can relate to any of these experiences because they were pretty weird and I’d like to know if someone out there has also gone through weird experiences like that too.

As always guys, love and peace.


RELATED LINKS: