Heya playa, if you’re in high school you might have come face to face with the question, how the hell do I become cool? There are tons of other kids who seem to already have that natural “it” factor, but is that something that’s natural or is it something that you can develop? I’ll explain that right after this.
Being in high school is a beast in and of itself. People are splitting off into different cliques, girls and guys that you may like are not getting incredibly hot and there you are, just kind of standing there awkwardly in the middle of it all. It’s really easy to start comparing yourself to other people but lets really take a look at why these people are cool and what makes them that way.
One of the things that you’ll immediately notice about the cool kids is that they’re just so natural at going with the flow of things. Everything may look like it’s been put together so perfectly but the truth of the matter is, they run into just as many problems as you do. Their parents also won’t let them do things, they’re worried about friendships and relationships and studying for tests, just like you are.
The thing that cool kids have learned to master though, is assuming the power position of control and being able to manage the stress levels of people around them. If the cool kid assumes the leader position and has everyone feeling like they got this, then they’re definitely going to see him as the cool one to look up to. Having that feeling that everything is taken care of and you can just sit back and relax and not have to worry about things, allows them to just be cool in their own right.
Cool kids are also very keen on details. That means that they are incredibly perceptive on how people are thinking and feeling around them. Now I’m not gonna lie to you, part of being cool is being able to fit in. That means possibly dressing like everyone else, talking like everyone else and even acting like everyone else. But, if you really look deeper into those things, what you’re really talking about is building strong relationships that you can connect with people over.
Because really think about it, if you dress similar to someone else, you’re showing that you share that commonality, that you both think similarly and you can get along. The same goes for how you talk, music you listen to, movies that you watch, all of it is just displaying to someone that you can connect with them. So if you figure out how to connect with them without having to worry about those things, that’s really what you need.
Putting aside the people that are just jerks who like to bully people, generally everyone has something nice to say about the cool kid. Whether that they’re fun to talk to, they’re someone to look up to or they’re just cool. That’s why, straight up if you want to start being cooler tomorrow: start making conversations with people, start nailing good first impressions, and just overall be someone that people can open up to. And what about those kids who are jerks and bullies but are still cool? Why do people look up to them, what gives?
The reason people look up to those guys is because they individually have a yearning to be liked. It’s a psychological thing, if someone doesn’t like you for no reason really, then you’re gonna try your best to get them to like you. And because these jerks don’t even give you a second thought, you’re always reaching for their approval. That’s why I would suggest you don’t use those people as a model. I don’t care how many girls or guys they have following them around.
They are not a good example to follow. And the flip side of that is just being overall too nice and not having anyone see you as anything substantial. So the sweet spot is to really aim in the middle somewhere, don’t be too nice and don’t be too mean. In fact be a nice person, not a soft person.
Frankly, the most important thing to remember about being cool is the fact that no matter where you are on the totem pole, you’re always gonna somehow think someone else is cooler than you. Trust me on that one, I knew kids in high school that had all the girls liking them, but for some reason they thought the band kids were cooler. And the band kids thought that the video gamers were cooler. Everyone was constantly measuring themselves up against someone else. They always thought someone else was cooler.
What do you think though, do you struggle with being cool in high school? Leave your comment below and we’ll talk about it.
Do not be fooled into thinking that just because someone has a lot of Instagram followers or chats with a lot of people on Snapchat that they’ve made it to the top. Find out what your skills are, create a social environment where you can connect with others and forge your own path of coolness.