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How To Stand Up For Yourself

What problems do you encounter that you feel you can’t stand up against?


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Heya playas, sometimes things in life don’t go according to plan but you as your own individual person have the ability to accept the situation and move on. However this might not be the attitude shared by everyone involved. In fact you may have that one friend of a person you’re working with that takes all their frustration out on you. If you consider yourself to be a peaceful person who is constantly getting bullied or walked all over you don’t have to be and here’s why. The first thing that you need to understand is that no one’s will is stronger than yours.

You should always be in charge of the decision that you are going to do. What happens sometimes in a group of people is that one person ends up being bratty and wants to impose their will and others. And in order to keep peace you might stay quiet and just go along with it so when is it right to speak out and potentially cause a problem versus just accepting what they say and moving along? My answer is the very first statement I made, that no one’s will should be stronger than yours. If the situation calls for you to do something that you don’t want to do then speak up about it.

But if what you’re gonna choose to do is going to force other people to go along with it against their will, then you have to ask yourself, should I be doing this with them? Sometimes we force others to do what we want or bend to their rules to have everyone involved in something. And what we find so hard to do is speak up and just tell the person “No”. It’s really hard to say no, especially to your friends. Especially when they want you to do something that they’re gonna have an amazing time doing. But you may not feel the same way about it and you don’t want to look like a dick for saying no.

The truth is that what we fail to realize is the root of the problem doesn’t lie in being assertive, it lies in being passive. It never feels good to walk away from an interaction knowing that you should have said something. But by telling a person no, it puts a hold on their brain letting them know that hey, my reality doesn’t control everyone around me. People need to be put in check sometimes. And it’s not meant to be mean it simply meant to reinforce where you stand and who’s in control of you. There have been plenty of times where I’ve held my tongue and kept my thoughts to myself only to feel horrible afterwards.

It felt like arguing with that person was hopeless and I ended up victimizing myself in the equation. And what I realized was that it didn’t have to be that way. Once I started saying no the bullying stopped. When you’re speaking to someone who’s bullying you, use the word “I” instead of “You”. You always belittle me when I suggest something to do is not as powerful as I feel belittled when I suggest something to do. The context of your wording suggests not that you’re accusing them of doing something but that their words are having this effect on you.

And while this is no guarantee that you’ll get everything you want every time you talk to them, it will damn well make you feel better that you spoke out for yourself. I believe there is never a situation that you encounter where your opinion is never important. It is simply crafting it and delivering it in such a way that is beneficial to the situation. What makes these bullies so strong is the fact that they stand up for themselves. But in that process they go too far and end up hurting others. So let your intuition guide you to know when to speak up and when to separate yourself.

And most importantly don’t ever argue with an idiot. They’ll bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

As always guys, love and peace.


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Your Favorite Celebrities Are Dying!

Will mainstream celebrities ever cease to exist in favor of niche micro-celebrities?


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Heya playas, this episode of The Josh Speaks is dedicated to three men that helped shape this generations sense of humor, science, and ghostbusting. Bill Cosby, Bill Nye and Bill Murray you three will be missed. For all the great achieve… It’s fake? It’s fake?! IT’S FAKE!!!! Why is it so much fun to kill celebrities? Hey, for the longest time I did it too. Tom Hanks was constantly dying in a fatal hot air balloon accident at Mount Rushmore and Kenan Thompson would repeatedly die in submarine explorations down to discover more information about the Titanic.

But this isn’t what I mean by killing off celebrities, they really are a dying breed. Sean Parker, the guy who made Napster and helped shape Facebook once said that “Privacy is the new celebrity”. So what does that make of the old celebrities? Back in the day before people could be famous for just being famous if you were a celebrity that meant your work was prized on a mass scale. Everybody knew your name. There wasn’t a focus on targeting niche audiences or developing content strictly for the internet.

As the times have changed, we’ve become more intertwined in our connectivity allowing peoples work too be shared on a mass scale. So does that mean if you’re a popular vlogger here in the US that you could travel to somewhere like India and have everyone recognize you? It wasn’t exactly like that for Jenna Marbles when she traveled there and she’s pretty big on YouTube. Although the thought of being a micro celebrity sounds cool, it can really cause problems in people’s lives. Being a micro celebrity means you have a very defined target audience that you can engage with but it can also lead to problems like it did with Laci Green where she got tons of death threats for her videos.

Or the most subscribed to person on YouTube like Ray William Johnson who receives tons of hate for not attending events like Vidcon or Playlist Live. And yet some of the benefits of being an old form celebrity like Ashton Kutcher and Lindsay Lohan are totally worth it. You get notoriety everywhere you go, you receive paychecks almost 4 to 5 times as big as the average persons salary and you have a much bigger audience of fans that are above the age of 13 to 17. And yet they still are a dying breed. More and more attention is shifting to these niche audiences. So celebrities that have to ride on the coat tales of the media are losing because they do not have that one to one connection with their audience.

Pretty soon someone is going to write up an article about Robin Williams plummeting to his death after a fatal Rocky Mountains accident and then someone will create a tribute page to the late and great Robin Williams. Which will lead to hundreds and thousands of people liking it and actually believing he’s dead. So a mass philosophical genocide on old school celebrities is not going to happen any time soon but it is definitely the direction we are heading in.

What’s scarce in this world is privacy, the internet makes that very very clear. So the less and less a person works to control their image, the fewer celebrities we are going to have.

As always guys, love and peace.


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Do Miracles Prove the Existence of God?

Are miracles an act of God or just plain luck?


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Heya playas, recently the Bensonhurst Bean put up an article about a statue on 86st, my neighborhood that has a living heartbeat. Local neighborhood people are now flocking to the statue saying it’s a miracle from God. But what is a miracle? Is it proof that God exists or maybe something more. A miracle is a surprising and welcomed event that cannot be explained by natural or scientific laws and could be taken as being divine.

What that means is, if something happens and we can’t explain it we tend to chalk it up to something more, maybe even a higher being with a grand plan in mind. And the point we come to is that there’s safety in believing that everything is decided for us, good and bad. When miracles happen and they’re good, believers will say it’s the will of God and that he’s showing us that he’s watching and protecting. But when things go bad people tend to say it part of God’s plan and we can’t begin to understand it. The thing is that neither of those positions prove that God exists and I’ll tell you why.

Throughout history we’ve questioned everything from how the solar system works to how to properly unravel a roll of toilet paper. And although we may not have all the answers, we can understand that there’s a step by step process as to how it occurs. To believe that something exists in this world that is completely in-explainable, in my eyes it means you’re simply giving up. Think of it like this, if God were to interject and create miracles and disasters that would mean he’s showing favoritism to those people he wants to help feed his power.

And that doesn’t sound like an all loving God, it sounds like the kind of person who picks the tall fast kids in sports versus the short fat ones because it increases their chances of winning. When bad things occur we tend to look away from belief and wonder, where is God then? Some people will use situations like this to question their faith. If God cares about them, how could he let them suffer? While others use these disastrous events to bring them closer to God.

And then there are those who get so focused on the why that they simply say God’s will is completely out of our hands, we can’t begin to understand it. Wait a minute, when things are good we can see God’s message and when they’re bad we’re totally incapable of understanding it? This line of reasoning takes the miracles out of miracles.

If something happens that miraculous or disastrous it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t focus on the why we should also focus on the how. As in how we let these events influence or inspire our lives. Because no matter what you believe you can still learn a lesson. That miracles can happen but what they ultimately mean is decided by you.

As always guys, love and peace.


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